dial down the crazy

I don't know if other people get this way, but the last several weeks of pregnancy bring out a whole new level of crazy in my already- distractible self. It's a good thing Dan knows what he's getting into when he arrives for his weekends home. How could I really explain it to anyone else who had to live with us for a few days at a time?

I sleep nightly until 3 am and then am wide awake for at least an hour...sometimes for good. That doesn't help. I should be sleeping now, as a matter of fact.

I start projects all over the house and don't manage to finish them. Like, any of them. Drop by and I'll show you proof.

My internal conversation goes something like this...

Hmmm....Monday. Let's see, what should we do tomorrow?

We need groceries. Yuck, that will take hours. We should go to Target. I think they sell Baby Bjorns there. I should check the price online at Amazon and see which place sells them for less.

I should take a picture of our old one. It's so threadbare. I want to capture what four babies can do to one of those things before it disintegrates.

Where is the camera?

Ooh, and there's a Michael's coupon in the paper... what do we need from Michael's?

I think we have a bottle of paint to return there.

Where is that ad?

I need to return the random thing I bought to the children's resale shop. I wonder if they're open on Labor Day? I should call them. Darnit, I bet they're already closed.

I should look up the number.

Start to walk to the computer.

Labor day...OH! I should finish packing that bag for the hospital.

Start walking upstairs.

I wonder if the dryer is done - I was waiting for a nightgown that's in there.

Walk into to the laundry room. See the MOUNTAIN of clean clothes that are waiting to be put away. Pick up and fold, oh, three things. Notice a bad smell. Turn around and walk out.

What is that?....OH LUKE. Let's change you!

Luke: No, mama, I ok!

He runs.

I should chase him.

The dryer stops. I should pull those clothes out so they don't get wrinkled.

Wait a minute, do I hear the phone downstairs?

Me: Emma, Daniel, is the phone ringing? (No response as their heads are bent over their Nintendo DS's).

I trip over a lightsaber on my way through the playroom. That makes me think of Alex (our nephew).

Alex! I need to burn the photos of his birthday party onto a disk for Jodi (Dan's sister)! Before I forget! Before the baby comes!

Walk downstairs to the computer. Smell Luke again but still don't see him.

Me: Emma! Is Luke out there with you?

Emma: Yeah, I think so (barely audible).

Crud, I forgot to start running the water in the washing machine. Those sheets really need to be done by bedtime. Do I even have enough time before bedtime to finish them?

What time is it? Man, I'm hungry.

Go back upstairs to start the water and add the soap. Fold two more pieces of clothing in the pile then remember I should burn the photos.

Burn...I need to bring the emergency escape ladder that I bought upstairs! I need to show the big kids how to use it in case we're ever trapped upstairs in a fire! What if that happened this year and I'm here alone with five kids to evacuate by myself! I need to get it! Now!

Back down the stairs, this time grabbing the laundry basket full of photo albums sitting at the base of the stairway. Each album contains one picture I've been hoping to scan into the computer for weeks. For this blog.

I'm hungry.

I hope Luke doesn't hurt these albums, they're getting kind of frail.

Now I'm sitting at the computer about to scan photos.

OH, and burn photos!

Burn! I need to look for that ladder! Did I put it in the basement?

I look at the screen and realize we never finished our Amazon.com order. The one Emma has asked me about three times.

She has really been doing a good job of babysitting the older boys, that girl. I should follow through with helping her order her book.

Should I add the new Baby Bjorn to the cart? Oh, better talk with Dan about that first. Darnit, he's still en route to Houston. We'll have to call him later.

OK, photos.

Do I remember how to burn photos onto a disk?

Where are the disks?

Noah: Mom, Lukey smells bad!

Darnit, he's wearing a cloth diaper. That's going to be a huge mess.

Suddenly our kids see the neighbor children outside and with shouts of glee they all RUN out the back door. This, of course, includes Luke. Drag him back into the house to be changed.

As I'm dunking and flushing the cloth diaper Noah walks up behind me and asks for apple slices. You know, the way Miss Chris (my very organized, calm friend) makes them, with the peanut butter spread right on them?

Me: Just a minute, I need to finish this. Maybe you could just wash and eat an apple?

Noah: Nah, I'll wait.

Luke, noticing that I've turned my head to talk to Noah, runs.

Now where was I?

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I have to confess that I started this post a week ago. It's taken me this long to finish.